You are Kuros

The Greatest Warrior of All.

Thus begins the quest to assemble the four pieces of the shattered Ironsword and defeat the evil wizard Malkil once and for all.  To do so, Kuros must seek help from the Four Animal Kings.

Seems legit.

Iron Sword: Wizards and Warriors IIThe box art for Iron Sword: Wizards & Warriors II is legendary as it has arguably one of the greatest male models of all time oiled up and ready to rumble.  I’m speaking of course of the magnificent Fabio.  Things are a little off though when you pop the game in as the first screen you see is of a knight in head to toe armor wielding a rather awesome sword.  Okay, so the designers of the game wanted to represent Kuros as an oiled Adonis but in truth he’s put his battle army on ready to do Malkil some harm.  Well…  then the game starts and it turns out you’re neither Fabio or the majestic knight.  Instead you’re a bobble head, large eyed looking dork with an unwieldy silver stick for a sword.  And what’s more you look like Homer Simpson in the episode where he’s trying to play tennis, when you swing the sword.

Eventually you find the domed helmet that makes you look a little more like the iconic Kuros from the first game as well as upgraded swords that don’t look so ridiculous.  You find this in the wind level where you will be forced to murder a cloud for the handle of the sword.  Then its on to the water level where you take on a giant rectangular water thing.  Next its into a cave to fight what I can only assume is a giant lava blob… with teeth.  Next you take on a cliff with a face where you finally retrieve Iron Sword.

Then its on to the evil Malkil.  Once he’s defeated via your sheer awesomeness the Animal Kings all appear and thank you for your hard work.

Two problems I have with this game.

  1. The controls are way too slippery.  Its an action platformer where you literally jump the whole time.  There is a bit of a learning curve in dealing with the controls.
  2. The secrets are sometimes impossible to find being about as cryptic as Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest or the abysmal Super Pitfall.  You literally talk to no one in the game so in order to find some of the hidden items you have to jump into every pixel of the game.

Things I like about the game.

  1. The music is pretty solid.  As are the sound effects.
  2. The upgraded weapons and armor actually appear on Kuros which was somewhat rare for most NES games at the time.
  3. Foregoing my earlier clowning on Kuros’s look, I really do like the adorable dork.

All in all this game isn’t terrible.  There are some aspects I could have done without but the pros outweigh the cons for sure.  I can absolutely see why it makes the list.


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#98 – Iron Sword: Wizards and Warriors II

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